Did you ever notice how days’ significance changes over the years? In my early years, those quiet days between Christmas and Epiphany had little character. One day was like another, merely time reserved for lolling around, eating sweets and watching television.
Then one year my mother died, a couple of days after New Year’s Day. Her last 10 days on earth began with a St Stephen’s Day hospital admission and her slow passing away occurred precisely during that period that had previously had so little import. January became my mother’s month forever (it was also her birthday month).
Father
My father had a similar effect on May. His 98th birthday on May 22 in 2015 was marked by a party the following Sunday, attended by those he was most fond of. The following day he died suddenly, after lunch in his favourite hostelry. May, which had previously been exam month, or start-of-summer month, then became my dad’s month — and will always be, the month of his birth and death.
My favourite lightweight summer novel is One Day, by David Nicholls. It charts the on-again, off-again relationship between Dexter and Emma, from student life to adulthood. Its unique approach involves taking one day, July 15 (St Swithun’s Day) and presenting snapshots of their relationship on that day each year. Right at the end the deeper significance of the day is revealed, however, as at the point when Dexter and Emma finally decide to make a life together, the life of one of them ends suddenly — for such is life.
The novel is not just the story of two fictitious characters, but in some way of every life. We each of us build up a store of anniversaries each circling year, days we will never forget,
Reflective
In one vision of time, the linear version, every year is a complete unit in itself, with no relationship to what precedes or follows it. In another more reflective vision, there is continuity between years: we are on a spiral path, with each year having a bearing on the next. Each year draws us closer to the goal of our lives.
One of the many things I like about the parish where I minister is its 30-year anniversary list, to which parishioners are added automatically when they die. As well as ensuring that no one is forgotten, the list builds links within the parish, as one parishioner’s special anniversary coincides with another’s, in the unfolding spiral of parish life.
Incidentally, the evening my mother died, my father, out of the blue, asked the date. Told that it was January 4, he began to rack his brains, convinced that the date resonated for some reason. It turned out to have been the date his own father died, exactly 50 years before.
Every new day is significant, it’s someone’s birthday, someone’s anniversary, the day of someone’s passing to new life; one of those days will be yours and mine too. Treasure each day. Remember anniversaries. And Happy New Year!
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Their memory evokes a prayer…
On my breakfast table I keep an annually-updated list of names for each month, including anniversary dates for Cork & Ross colleagues, and significant dates for family and friends over my whole life (and pets are remembered too!). Each day, someone comes to mind, and their memory evokes a prayer, or a thought, or sometimes a note or phone call. Saints’ feast days remind me of people who share their name; these lead to occasional messages also. Each year becomes a treasury of personal links. Keeping a personal calendar supplements the civic anniversaries recorded by every calendar: I recommend it.
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A beautiful idea for Advent 2021
Tablets and smartphones allow Catholics to surf the Internet and find Mass at a time that suits, especially now that lockdown prevents attendance in person. Over Christmas, those who surf will have seen beautifully decorated churches, each a testament to the hard work of volunteers. It’s intriguing how common Advent wreaths have become — and how slow they are to disappear, lasting in some places into January, when Advent is well gone. The wreath with its purple ribbons and evergreens giving way to a white candle surrounded by red-ribboned holly is a really beautiful sight: an idea for Advent 2021 perhaps?
