A file photo shows a couple smiling after lighting the unity candle during their wedding at Sts. Philip and James Church in St. James, N.Y. (OSV news photo/CNS file, Gregory A. Shemitz) In an era of constant distraction, one of the greatest challenges facing married couples is learning how to be truly present to one another.
Mike and Rose Curtin of Catholic Marriage Encounter say modern technology has quietly reshaped how couples relate. “You can’t be present to another person when you’re present to other people on your phone,” Mrs Curtin said.
The couple, who have worked with married couples for many years, recall sitting in a pub and noticing a young couple together at a table, each absorbed in their phones. “They were together physically,” Mrs Curtin said, “but they weren’t actually there for each other.”
According to the Curtins, this loss of attentiveness can slowly erode connection, even in loving marriages. “We talk a lot about listening,” Mr Curtin said. “Do we really listen, or are we listening with an answer already running in our heads?”
Listening and presence are key themes of Marriage Encounter weekends, which invite couples to step away from daily pressures and reflect privately on their relationship. “It’s not about fixing each other,” Mrs Curtin explained. “So often we want to fix, instead of just listening.”
For the Curtins, presence is also deeply sacramental. Many couples, Rose added, “don’t realise they don’t just have a sacrament. They are a sacrament”.
That understanding, Mrs Curtin said, changes how couples see everyday life. “There is so much grace available if we draw on the gift of the sacrament of marriage.”
The next Marriage Encounter Weekend takes place at St Mary’s Retreat Centre, Knock, from March 20 – 22, 2026.