An inmate receiving Communion. Photo: OSV news/ Karen Bonar, The Register. The buzz around my friends this past month has been a blissful sight to see. Many of them recently visited Rome for the Youth Jubilee, a successful event which challenged the common story heard in recent years: that Catholic youth are fading. I would say otherwise. They are coming back stronger, with open minds and hearts. Curious youngsters asking themselves, “how can I make my life better and happier”. I have seen a change in recent months on how the generation is inclining more towards the Church, learning more about the history, the liturgies, and the deeper meaning behind faith formation. These are some of the conversations I have had more and more in recent times.
I personally participated in the Youth2000 festival that took place earlier this month. It was my first time participating in an event like this, and I was immediately impressed with the amount of excitement in the people around me. What made me happiest was seeing so many people in the 17-25 age group participating. It showed me that the Church is attracting a crowd that they would have struggled to engage in the past.
One speaker in particular stood out: a man who easily captured a young crowd’s full attention for 45 minutes straight, who ended up getting a 2 minutes applause for his remarkable story of struggle, addiction, and the journey towards faith, was truly inspiring.
I was lucky enough to have a chat with him after his talk, and he was kind enough to give his testimony to The Irish Catholic, which just shows a glimpse of what he had gone through.
Testimony
“My name is Paul Cesar. I am originally from a small village in Lebanon, where I grew up in a Druze Muslim community. My parents were not religious, but they loved and feared God. Like most Druze, I had no personal relationship with God. The only time I prayed as a child was when I was about 7 or 8 years old. I asked Him to take me to Europe, far away from my village, and to give me a girl I could fall in love with and that was it!
At a very young age, my father lost his business, and everything changed for us overnight. We were practically living in poverty, burdened with debts and stress. I also suffered from chronic stomach problems since childhood, which made life even harder. I was the only son, with one younger sister. My father was a kind man, but we hardly ever spoke.
I mostly blamed God for everything, I hated Him, I hated my life, and I took out my anger on my parents”
Most of my childhood friends were from my village. Some were kind, but others bullied me. Still, we all grew up with the same ‘Druze mentality’: to be a man, you had to act tough and do ‘manly’ things. We spent summers in the wilderness at the river, or in the forest hunting, or playing rough local sports. Yet deep down, I always felt like an intruder and everything I did was just an attempt to feel included.
At home, things only got worse. My parents struggled, and I mostly blamed God for everything, I hated Him, I hated my life, and I took out my anger on my parents, especially my mother who has the purest heart and most beautiful soul. By the age of 12, no one dared to ask me where I was going or when I would return, I hated school but I still went because it was outside my village, which gave me a chance to escape.
Peak
By the age of 14, I had stolen a gun from my grandparents house and carried it everywhere, even to school. I started smoking, drinking, and stealing money from relatives. At 15, I was in a serious car accident with my cousin and friends, and unfortunately my cousin was hurt the worst, and this tragedy made me lose whatever faith I had left, and I stopped believing in God!
I worked hard to provide for them, but at the same time, I was sinking deeper into addiction”
My school was Christian, but as a Druze, I wasn’t required to attend the Christian classes. Still, one day, desperate to pass my exams, I hid behind a wall and secretly made the sign of the cross and asked Mary for help, even though I didn’t know who Jesus or Mary were. I forgot about it afterward, but today I know that Our Lord and Our Lady were with me even then, already working out their plan for my life.
My teenage years spiralled into more trouble: fights, reckless driving, constant run-ins with the police, nights in jail, and eventually drugs! At 16, I started with Tramadol pills and within two months, I was taking 10+ a day. By the time I left my village for Beirut, I was fully addicted..
I moved to the city with just a bag of clothes, a mattress, and a 100 dollars in my pocket. The energy of Beirut captivated me, but I was drawn to the wrong crowd! Nightlife, drugs, and partying. I worked odd jobs during the day and partied all night. Soon, I found a stable job at a spa and dropped out of school so that my sister could continue her education. My family was my motivation so I worked hard to provide for them, but at the same time, I was sinking deeper into addiction: 10 to 15 Tramadol pills a day, constant weed, cocaine, XTC, ketamine, LSD, MDMA.. I was doing it all on daily basis.
Awakening
The 2006 war pushed me to Dubai, where I immediately sought out drugs and bad company. I worked long hours but partied harder. Eventually, I was jailed, then deported back to Lebanon. My health worsened! Stomach problems plagued me daily, and I often vomited multiple times a day. But I didn’t care. I drowned myself in drugs, lust, anger and depression.
Then something changed when I met a girl! My first serious relationship. Her love, and her faith, especially her mother’s (who later became my godmother), began to pull me away from destruction. She gave me a reason to live and reconnected me with my parents. For the first time, I felt hope.
I worked abroad in Congo, but trouble followed me, so I came back to Lebanon, I got involved in a plan to make money from marijuana. Around that time, a friend preached to me about Jesus.
That night, Jesus came to me in a dream and told me to trust the process”
Normally, I would have laughed, but something struck me when he said: “If you were the god of ants, how would you communicate with them?”
I answered, “I’d become an ant.”
He said, “That’s exactly what God the Father did through Jesus.” For the first time, I considered that God might actually be real.
Not long after, I had a powerful dream! I saw an indescribable light and I knew immediately it was Jesus. Days later, I had another dream that was a warning from God: my tooth fell out, and when I woke up, that exact tooth fell from my mouth! I knew something was coming. That very morning, I was arrested and not even for my marijuana plan, but for something unrelated.
In jail, crammed into a 3×4 meter cell with 23 hardened criminals, I felt hopeless. But that night, Jesus came to me in a dream and told me to trust the process and in my dream I wanted to know Jesus more, and when I woke up, a Venezuelan inmate smiled at me and asked: “Brother, would you mind if I tell you about Jesus?”
Change
From that moment, everything changed. That dark, filthy cell became a place of hope, even Muslims in the cell, who mocked us at first, began asking us to pray over them in Jesus’ name. I prayed daily with the Victor the Venezuelan and a Raphael the Brazilian, and I encountered the Holy Spirit in ways I cannot describe.
After 4 and a half months, I was finally released, seeing the light for the first time after sitting in that room for so long, I was weak and barely able to walk, and the first thing I asked my girlfriend was for her to teach me how to pray the Rosary, because I had promised God I would pray it daily.
I struggled afterward, falling back into drugs and getting arrested again, but this time God used it to strengthen me further. In that second jail experience, I hit rock bottom but I realised that everything God allowed was to prepare me for my new life, I stated praying more and surrendered to God more and more.
I eventually got baptised, moved to Ireland, and married the woman who had stood by me. We started with nothing, but God provided. We moved into our own home, had our first son, then a daughter, and now we are awaiting our third child. We attend Mass regularly, I pray the Rosary daily, and I serve in the Legion of Mary.
Go to Mass. Pray the Rosary. Give some of your time to the Legion of Mary”
Looking back, I realise God answered the prayer I made as a child: to live in Europe and marry a woman I love. But He gave me so much more than I asked! Yes It took 24 years, but His timing was perfect.
No matter what you are going through, remember this: the Lord has your back. Don’t give up. Go to Mass. Pray the Rosary. Give some of your time to the Legion of Mary.
This is only a glimpse of my story. One day, I hope to share my full testimony and bring as many souls back to God as possible. It took miracles for me to believe, I had to see with my own eyes, but blessed are those who believe without seeing.
Thank You, Jesus, for Mary.
And thank You, Mary, for Jesus.”
Inspiration
When I spoke to Paul, I could sense the grace he received. He has received immense blessings and chances that many would never expect to see in their own lives. Some people ask me, “If God is someone who can help, why is my life like this?” Now, I can tell them Paul’s story, a story that shows how loving, patient, and forgiving God truly is to everyone. I hope his journey can inspire many generations to come, and I wish him all the best to him and his beautiful family. God bless!
My health worsened! Stomach problems plagued me daily, and I often vomited multiple times a day. But I didn’t care. I drowned myself in drugs, lust, anger and depression”