Life’s Little Things

Last week my children and I were in the local toy shop when my youngest son saw a classmate shopping for video games with his dad. The shop assistant drew the dad’s attention to the fact that his nine-year-old son was purchasing a game with a 16-year-old age rating. Dad nodded rather distractedly and mumbled vaguely “oh that’s fine”.

Apart from an overwhelming urge to grab the father and shake some sense into him, I wondered what the parents of the children who supplied the gift vouchers and urged the child to “buy something nice for yourself” would think of his choice.

Perhaps they wouldn’t be bothered at all. Reading the online parental review of the game I felt woefully out of touch with what some parents deem appropriate entertainment for their children. Some of these games allow parental control of levels of violence apparently eliminating some profanity and bloodshed, but fortunately preserving the essential elements of torture, execution and dismemberment.

Age ratings are there for a reason, they are not targets to be reached and exceeded.

Claiming that your child is mature enough for material beyond their age is nothing to be proud of. I don’t believe that this generation of children is innately more violent than previous ones; nor do I think that desensitisation through exposure to violence is a service we must provide to teach our children about the world.

Complacent

We have become complacent about the levels of violence which surround and bombarded us daily. My son told me he has had nightmares as a result of hearing his classmate endlessly recount details of video games he has played and the manner in which he has slain his online enemies. It seems a shame to me that of all the available activities where a young boy could jostle for dominance and seek the validation of his peers, this is the only one he appears competent in.

We tell our son that along with eating well and taking care of his physical needs, he must also take care of his emotional wellbeing. He doesn’t have to listen to the stories and can choose to walk away. The outside world will come to our children soon enough, so why are we in a rush to expose them to some of its more unpalatable aspects?

It is the lot of successive generations of parents to shake their heads ruefully at what their children find entertaining, but I believe these war simulation games rob our children of an ever shortening childhood and expose them to images and concepts which they are not ready to understand or assimilate.

The author Steve Biddulph asks if we would pay a stranger to come into our home to yell, abuse and act violently towards our children. If not, then why do so many parents permit their children to interact with violent and degrading games at home all the while convincing themselves that this is reasonable.

My son tells me he doesn’t want to go into our local video rental store because he has occasionally seen DVD boxes with nasty images on them or a trailer of a scary movie playing on the TV monitors. There will always be implicit violence hovering just on the edge of our awareness, violence which slowly and insidiously infiltrates our consciousness.

Short of blindfolding our son, giving him headphones to wear or locking him up at home, we accept there is a measure of unpleasantness he will always be exposed to.

Voluntarily submitting him and other youngsters to graphic violence costs them more than it provides; it may be entertaining, but it’s just not worth it.