Mary Lou Quinlan tells Greg Daly about a remarkable testimony to her mother’s love
While in the Philippines in January, Pope Francis described how in his room in the Vatican he has a small statue of St Joseph sleeping, explaining that before he goes to bed he slips prayers he has written down under the statue, leaving it for the saint to pray on his behalf.
American entrepreneur Mary Lou Quinlan’s mother had a similar practice, and Mary Lou’s play The God Box: A Daughter’s Story, which is touring Ireland between October 13 and 30, explores this idea and her own relations with her mother who died 10 years ago.
“The idea of writing down your prayers, petitions, wishes, and worries onto a piece of paper and tucking it away and turning it over to God is an idea that is in many cultures,” she says. “Calling it a ‘God box’ is something my Mom picked up – someone suggested it to her.”
Explaining that her mother was someone with whom all manner of people – family, friends, and complete strangers – told their troubles, Mary Lou says: “She would listen, but then, rather than saying ‘It’s going to be okay’, would say ‘I’m going to put it in my God box’ and what she’d do is right away grab any piece of paper and she’d date it, address it and begin a quick little letter, you know, ‘Dear God, please help Larry get a job’ or ‘please make the blood test come out okay’. And she’d sign it – ‘Mary’ – and she’d fold it, and right away she’d put it into her God box, this little old wicker box.”
Petitions
Only after she died did Mary Lou discover that there hadn’t been just one such box. “I went looking for the box,” she says, “and instead of one I found 10 boxes in her room, filled with 20 years – because they were dated – of these little petitions dating back to 1986.”
The boxes, Mary Lou is clear, were a profound testimony to her mother’s faith and love.
“The idea was that once it was in her God box, it was turned over to God for care. It wasn’t about getting what you want: it was about the comfort of letting go, and releasing it and trusting that it was in God’s hands,” she says.
“They were a diary of her love for us, and for strangers and friends. There are people I’ll never know whose names are in that box.”
Mary Lou first wrote about the box in a 2010 magazine article, which led her to work on a book and a play which delves into her own struggle, as an adult daughter, to face the loss of her mother and learn to let go.
Part of that struggle has involved her own God box, she says: “One thing in the play is that part of the struggle for me is being an adult who likes to control things, and grappling with ‘ask, ask’.
“But as my mother said, it doesn’t hurt to ask,” she says.
The God Box will play in Portlaoise, Cork, Kilkenny, Tralee, Limerick, Sligo, Roscommon, Longford and Dun Laoghaire, with all proceeds going to the Irish Hospice Foundation. See thegodboxproject.com for details.