It is not that easy being a mother
Christina Malone
While on holiday my four-year-old developed a very bad habit of whinging. If you have children, you might know it can be hard to ignore. My nine-year-old started to develop an attitude that makes you wonder what is going in her little head and my eight-year-old has her own little world of worms and butterflies. You might wonder why am I sharing those things because over the past years I started to ask myself different kind of faith questions:
Do you think, Jesus was whinging at some stage in his life and more importantly do you think Mary ever got cross with Jesus? Do you think he had to go to timeout? I wonder how Mary reacted when Jesus did not do as she told him to. The human part of the Holy Family with Mary in the midst of it all. Like all mothers are, most of the time. (and yes fathers too!)
Mary, the mother of God; Mary, the blessed Mother; Mary, the ever Virgin Mary; the chosen One Mary – Our Lady.
Way too often I find myself in the church staring at Mary and wondering…What is motherhood all about? I mean, did Mary ever have a moment when she did not know what to do? Did she call on Elizabeth, her cousin for help? Or what to say? I have sat in front of Mary often wondering, reflecting and sometimes crying. It is not that easy being a mother. It is not that easy trying to get it right all the time. I remember asking my children how do you think Mary reacted when Jesus went missing and they did not know where he was. And Jesus being smart giving them a hard time by saying where else would I be?
Untouchable
Mary, in my youth, was a saint that was up there, untouchable, unreachable and very holy. Over the years, especially since I have become a mother myself I wonder how did she manage the human, earthy Jesus? Never mind the heart-breaking end by standing at the foot of the cross. I like to think of Mary as a mentor. One to look up to, get to know, to love and be challenged by. I prefer Mary as a mentor rather than the images I grew up with.
First of all, she did not have to worry about the name of her first born. No naming after, no hurt feelings. She knew it was a boy. She knew he was not going to be ‘normal’. We do not know too much about the teenage Jesus or what happened in between birth and death. It does not say if he had any tantrums or what kind of teenage dreams he might have had. But I guess his mum was always by his side. His first miracle is with his mum present – Mary, nearly pointing the finger at her son, the wine has run out. Do something my son. She doesn’t ask him to sort out the embarrassment rather than leaving it to him to act. Jesus referring to his mother as woman. Not a kind of response I would envision to hear from a daughter or a son at any stage of my life.
Overwhelmed
I wonder how much did Mary know about her son? I wonder did she have moments where she felt overwhelmed or wondering what is going to happen to her beloved son. What did it mean to her being the mother of the chosen one? I am not sure, but over the years I try to take Mary off her high throne (undoubtable where she belongs) but Mary has to become real, as a mother with all the emotions attached to it. Let it be the worries about the bedtime, the first steps, his friends, his passion, his challenges. I often find myself having deep conversation with Mary asking her – what would you do?
On August 15, we celebrated Mary’s Assumption. This day we rightly celebrate Our Lady, the mother of God, the ever Virgin. Mary, the chosen one, that dared to say ‘yes’ to the Lord by becoming the mother of his Son. But in the midst of it all I am asking you today, if you imagine Mary as a friend of yours, another mother, another parent what would you like to ask her?
