Dear Editor, The basic idealism that prompts a young man to be a priest can often be the very quality that a similar young woman longs to find in a prospective partner.
Few fellows today are looking for a chaste girl, so most girls, not primarily motivated by sexual desire, may feel obliged to ‘get into sex’ if they want to be in the running for a partner.
The girl of idealism and courage decides that what matters in love is to have a friendship first before getting into the commitment of a physically intimate relationship (not always marriage nowadays).
The thoughtful, idealistic, chaste young man – even the one who hopes to marry – may quickly be jeered and taunted by his mates and may drop his standards in order to be acceptable to ‘the gang’ rather than be an outcast. It can be extremely difficult for the guy, testing his secretly held possibility of being called to the priesthood, to remain a lone ranger.
But if he meets a girl who has the courage to build a friendship before ‘getting into’ full sexual expression, he will be encouraged to pursue that relationship for the joy of sharing thoughts at a deepening level.
Will he be able to tell her of his prompting to be a priest?
The complementariness they now share points to a deep value should they marry and have a family. The temptation can be intense. One can be saddened by the fact that he cannot make the decision to be a married priest. This young couple would seem to be such an asset to the Church and have the potential to be ideal parents.
Optional celibacy suggests itself as an answer.
Is the imposition of celibacy (as against the free choice of it) yet to be seen as a huge block in the development of the modern Church?
Yours etc.,
Angela McNamara,
Churchtown, Dublin 14.
