A family prays at Mass. Photo: OSV News /Dave Hrbacek, The Catholic Spirit. Parishes really need to learn how to welcome people
here is something rather wonderful about seeing five-year-olds arrive at school in their brand-new uniforms. The shiny shoes, the pristine jumpers and the excitement of beginning primary school all signal a new chapter for children and their families.
On Sunday, I was reminded of that same sense of new beginnings at Mass, where my local Catholic school’s children had been invited to attend with their families.
Of the 42 children enrolled in the first year of school, around 15 children and their families came along. There were new faces among the congregation, including families who may not attend Mass regularly but who had responded to an invitation. These parents had chosen a Catholic education for their children and, on this occasion, had made the effort to bring them to Mass.
I found that really encouraging.
Fifteen children and their families had responded to an invitation and were present among us. It was a real opportunity to welcome them and to give them a sense of what parish life has to offer. Sadly, I felt that opportunity was largely missed.
Of course, I am not suggesting that the liturgy should be altered. The Mass has its own integrity and should not be treated as something that needs to be adapted for every occasion. But there is much that can happen around the liturgy to help people feel that they belong.
Difference
A welcome at the beginning would have made a difference. Families could have been invited to join the congregation for tea and coffee in the hall afterwards. In this parish, there is tea and coffee in the hall every week and it is a lovely opportunity for people to meet and build relationships, yet no one mentioned it to the families who had come along.
Apart from a lovely prayer of the faithful for the children and an invitation for them to stand on the pews and wave to the congregation at the end, there was little to draw these families in. I left feeling that so much more could have been done to show them what a welcoming and active parish it is.
We should not assume that those who are unfamiliar with parish life will automatically feel confident about being there or approaching others”
This is not about criticism for its own sake. And it is certainly not criticism of our caring and hard-working parish priest. Rather it is about the whole parish recognising that moments such as these can actually become opportunities for evangelisation. When people respond to an invitation, we should be attentive to what that moment might mean for them. A warm welcome, a conversation or an invitation to stay for a cup of tea may seem like small gestures, but they can help someone feel that they have a place within the community.
This responsibility does not rest with one person. Every member of a parish contributes to the atmosphere people encounter when they arrive. We should not assume that those who are unfamiliar with parish life will automatically feel confident about being there or approaching others.
Occasions
The same is true on other important occasions in the life of the Church. Weddings, funerals and baptisms often bring people into our churches who may not attend regularly. They may be there because a family member or friend has invited them, or because a significant moment has brought them back after a period away.
And we cannot know what a person is carrying with them when they come through the door. We should not make assumptions about their faith or their reasons for attending. But we can make sure that their experience of the parish is one of kindness and welcome.
For many years, I have spoken and written about the catechetical triangle of home, school and parish. Ideally, these communities work together to support children as they develop their faith. Yet for many children, the school is the only part of that triangle that is consistently present in their lives.
That makes the relationship between school and parish particularly important.
How we respond matters. If they encounter a community that is welcoming and interested in them, they may feel encouraged to return”
We know that choosing a Catholic school does not mean that a Catholic family is regularly involved in parish life. Parents may have different reasons for choosing Catholic education and not all will have a strong personal connection to the Church. But when parents respond to an invitation to attend Mass with their children, we should see that as a moment of possibility. They have come through the door. They are present among us.
Indeed, some young Catholics may find they re-engage with their faith and with Mass when they have children of their own. Becoming a parent can prompt memories of their own childhood, including experiences of prayer, school and parish life. They may begin to consider whether they want their children to have a similar upbringing.
That moment can be significant. It may not mean that they are returning with a fully developed or active faith, but it can represent a willingness to explore what faith might mean for their family. How we respond matters. If they encounter a community that is welcoming and interested in them, they may feel encouraged to return. If they feel unnoticed or out of place, that opportunity may be lost.
Numbers
If fewer than half of the children invited to an event attend, it can be tempting to focus on the numbers. But why not begin with those who did come? Fifteen children and their families are not simply a percentage of the school roll. They are an opportunity to make meaningful connections and to show families that the parish is somewhere they can belong.
We should celebrate that.
We cannot control who responds to an invitation. Nor can we assume that one visit will lead to regular participation. But we can decide how we respond to those who do come. We can make them feel noticed. We can offer a genuine welcome and show them that parish life is not reserved for those who have been there for years.
The families who came to Mass last Sunday had already taken a step. Perhaps some will return and perhaps others will not. But our responsibility is to ensure that when people do come, they encounter a community that is ready to welcome them.
Every family that walks through the door is an opportunity to begin again. We must make sure we recognise it.