Courtney McGrail
The Author Winston Pendleton wrote “The best way to get a puppy is to beg for a baby brother and they’ll settle for a puppy every time”. Despite having provided both a baby brother and sister, my children tell me that they still want a pet.
As a youngster, I lived in terror of my neighbour’s dogs, King and Prince, which guarded the entrance to our cul-de-sac with the zeal of conquering monarchs guarding a hard-won kingdom. One never knew the moment when one or both would launch themselves over their garden wall barking ferociously at the unsuspecting victim who dared to encroach upon their territory. It was impossible to find an alternative exit from home and the only hope was to give them a wide berth praying fervently that they had already gorged themselves on another unsuspecting neighbourhood child.
Pleading for a kitten was futile as my mother, through a sibling-induced childhood trauma, was pathologically afraid of cats. Our garden was too small for a puppy so I contented myself with gazing wistfully over the garden wall and occasionally feeding my father’s pork chop dinner, and on one occasion apparently also a lettuce, to our neighbour’s dog.
It should be clear at this point that I may be an adequate guardian for rabbits and vegan children, but I would either die of terror or the dog would die of starvation should I ever have to care for one. So I was fascinated the other day when a friend asserted that looking after a dog is no more terrifying than looking after children, and understanding how dogs interact with each other and with humans could make me a better parent.
The principles of dog psychology and the pack mentality are, she claims, broadly the same as the dynamics that operate between parents and children. Our kitchen quite often looks as if a pack of wild dogs have been feeding there, but as she explained there is more to the pack mentality than establishing who gets fed first.
How any group or pack interacts depends upon the energies that individual members bring to the group; a dominant dog enters a room holding his head and tail aloft staking a claim to the area and the more submissive dogs become calmer giving way to the alpha.
Dominance does not necessarily mean more active or aggressive; it can refer to a perception of being in charge. A human who takes an unruly dog by a leash with an air of command assumes leadership and ensures the animal’s compliance. When it comes to human dynamics an adult can exhibit authority through confidence and calm assertiveness and does not need to dominate through aggression or terror.
Those of us who always assumed that animals could sense our ambivalence or uncertainty will be reassured to know that “faking it until you make it” will apparently do just as well. A convincing, albeit constructed, air of authority will, according to dog experts, foster the desired behaviour and will also suffice to solidify one’s position as leader and safely see off any challengers – a reassuring concept for both pet owners and parents of teenagers!
The key to internalising the desired behaviour is reinforcement, repetition and consistency, a familiar parental mantra. If understanding how animals interact can contribute to a better understanding of how we can interact with our family members then maybe we should be asking who really is the pack leader in our own home?
If a more harmonious family dynamic is our goal perhaps we should stop searching parenting books; all we need is a visit from our local friendly dog psychologist.
