Faith in the Family

Have you ever been in a room where the buzz of conversation grows louder and stronger and you can feel the energy in the room rise? In my work as a facilitator that is something I regularly get to be a part of. The Irish word for a facilitator is éascaitheoir – one who makes things easy. Working in the areas of adult faith, spirituality and pastoral development I see my responsibility as being to make it easier for people to talk about faith. 

I work with a variety of groups. It could be a group of parents in Sligo exploring what the sacramental preparation of their children means for them as a family, or a group in Wexford exploring family spirituality and how it shapes pastoral ministry or a group of seminarians in Maynooth reflecting on how their experience of family shapes their own understanding of their priesthood. 

Whenever I go into a group I make it clear that I’m not there to give a lecture. The participants are going to be doing a lot of the work themselves. Sometimes when I invite them to discuss questions in small groups they look at me like I’m mad, asking them to talk about something as intimate as faith! 

In this country we are shy about our faith. It is not something we talk about much – even within our own families. So I throw out a few questions. I’m not looking for theories or book learning. I’m inviting people to explore their own lives and to talk from their own experience. And something wonderful happens. People begin tentatively, quietly, but soon gain confidence. People move closer together, faces become more animated, the buzz in the room begins to build, the energy lifts. By the end of 10 minutes, I’m having to raise my voice and wave my arms to get people’s attention, to call them back in to the large group so that we can get some feedback from them and develop the conversation. 

There is something very energising in talking about faith – speaking from the heart, sharing our experience, standing together in the presence of God. It is something that makes my spirit soar – whether I am a facilitator or a participant in the group. 

Our children need us to have confidence to talk about faith. On the one hand there is so much in our media and culture that tells us to keep our faith in our back pocket, something private and personal, not for public discussion. 

On the other hand we see at the moment the way that religion and faith have been hijacked by extremism, used to vindicate mass murder and mayhem in Syria, Paris and beyond. As people of faith we need to stand up. We need to have what Daniel O’Leary calls “courageous conversations”, to talk to each other about what faith means in our lives, to share with each other the simple, practical ways our relationship with God shapes our values and choices. 

Maybe this Advent we could prepare to make the Christ Child welcome by making conversations about God and faith an ordinary, natural part of our life together. It might be a chat about the news and how we as Christians are challenged to respond to what is going on in the world. It might be a family discussion about supporting a charity or volunteering for a local cause. 

It might be as simple as having an Advent wreath on our kitchen table and lighting the candles as we progress through Advent, praying for various people and situations in the world. It is all about claiming and naming God’s presence, at home, in our home, in the day to day.