Willing to wait

Willing to wait
Matthew Carlson meets those celebrating chastity

 

On a typical Thursday night, you might expect young people to be visiting the pubs or enjoying a pleasant Dublin night. If you however find yourself at 23 Merrion Square on a Thursday night, you will find something very different: a group of young people attending Mass, participating in reflective prayer and enjoying each other’s company.

This is the Pure in Heart group. Since 2000, Pure in Heart has been a charity that helps young people develop a healthy attitude towards love and relationships. They focus on building self-worth as well as promoting positive body image and building lasting relationships with others. Since beginning in 2000, their organisation has spoken to 125,000 young people, and other similar groups have been planted in England, Wales and even Haiti, Kenya and the U.S.

In addition to weekly meetings and Mass, Pure in Heart has teams that give presentations to groups of young people such as secondary schools, parishes and religious retreats. Dave Hunt works with Pure in Heart and interacts closely with the teams in preparing their presentations and sending out teams all over the country.

“Our focus is on educating young people on the theology of the body and educating them on the dignity of the human person and teaching them self-respect,” says Dave.

Alison Holland was a former team member from 2015-2016 working from September until June, giving presentations in various places. She first came into the group by way of a conference.

“I met another volunteer in 2012 and he told me about the group he was with. I had always been alone in my pursuit of chastity so I immediately wanted to join.” Holland says that often growing up she was different from those around her because she believed in chastity.

Presentations

“Something in my heart jumped because I found myself surrounded by people who were like me.”

Pure in Heart’s presentations can also include group work, testimonies and discussions.

“Our topics vary from dating and managing relationships, modesty and respect and even sexual intimacy and the importance of consent,” says Dave. Holland says that being a part of the group helped increase her level of self-respect and confidence in who she is as a person.

Dave explains that in Greek, there are four different kinds of love. Storge describes an empathy or love based on familiarity, often described of a love of a parent or sibling. Philia describes a love based on friendship, one that is not necessary, but rather is freely chosen.

Eros describes a romantic love or ‘being in love’. Pure in Heart focuses on the last one, agape. This love is described as being totally selfless and unconditional for another, the love expressed by God to humanity. This is the kind of love that Pure in Heart teaches that young people should have in their relationships with others. “We like to consider it a ‘school of love’. You learn how to give it and receive it,” says Alison.

“People are living up to an ideal that isn’t real,” Dave explains. He continues that often young people send messages subconsciously and their organisation helps people become more aware and conscious about what they think and who they want to be.

“The message that we are putting out is totally different than what the world is telling these young people. Our goal is to help these young people live the best life they can in chastity,” says Dave.

Pure in Heart also explores and discusses the science behind sex as well as relationships and breakups. Dave describes how there are different amounts of different chemicals in the brains of males and females that influence how they differently respond to hearing about these subjects. These differences also affect how males and females respond differently to sex and relationships. Pure in Heart’s goal is to educate young people in these areas so that they might thrive in an ever changing world. “We work really hard to create a family atmosphere here to make people feel welcomed,” says Alison.

Every year, their presentations are different and the charity tries to fit them to the specific group that we are talking with. According to Dave, most of the feedback that the organisation receives is positive.

“After each session, we ask that all the young people fill out an anonymous survey and I would say 90-95% of what we get back is positive. The students are always surprised at the information we give them. We also get a lot of feedback from teachers and leaders thanking us for coming in and talking to their students and young people.”

Dave adds that the way relationships ought to be built is in terms of a pyramid, with the base being friendship. “It’s the place to start, you begin with friendship and in that you can build a relationship that ultimately ends in knowing each other completely, without any masks.”

He notes that the world often goes in the opposite direction, beginning a relationship based on sexual and physical attractiveness. This thinking can lead to brokenness in friendships and relationships.

Passionate

At the moment Pure in Heart is assembling a new team. The teams are usually made up of two people from ages 18-35 who are passionate about sharing the message of chastity with other young people. Team members give the presentations which usually last about two hours. The new team will be placed in Dublin and will move around the country and even to the North to give presentations.

After selection, the team will go through about a month of training and then be sent out to different schools and parishes throughout the country for the next school year. The team usually spends their time during the week preparing for their presentations, contacting schools and participating in the weekly prayer meeting.

Pure in Heart also attends conferences and retreats in partnership with other youth organisations in Ireland. Youth 2000 is a similar organisation that organises events for young people ages 16-35. Pure in Heart gives presentations for these retreats, and also for young Catholics across the country.

According to Alison, the group may do as many as eight large presentations and retreats each year.

On the last Friday of each month, the group will participate in a Vigil where they take part in the Rosary, a midnight Mass and socialisation time.

“You stay up really late, get to know each other, spend time with God and even sometimes we’ll go out and get a milkshake after,” says Alison. Currently, Alison works as an accountant in the financial team for the World Meeting of Families, but is still can active participator in the group’s weekly prayer gathering.

Pure in Heart is always welcoming to new people at their weekly prayer meetings at 23 Merrion Square beginning at 7pm.

Visit their website for moreinformation https://pureinheart.ie/